Go to “genre”
Noir Doctors, etc Conversations Folklore, fairy tales, and such
Milestones and Vignettes Poemetry Suitable for children
Flash Sci-Fi and Speculative Fiction Episodic
Let Me Match Your Mood
NSFW Folks: I’m ex-military, ex-police, and an unapologetic male. I write the way I talk, the way I think. You’ve been warned.
My blog is mostly cheap shots. Just to keep traffic moving past the site [admittedly, pretty much a lost cause, for any number of reasons I’d be happy to share with you if you’d stand for a first-class double Irish on the rocks and a passable cigar] while I work on what I [alone, perhaps] consider eminently readable serious writing.
Along the way, I’ve poked-out a few pieces, what I call fluff, filler, throw-away that once started, turned-out not too damned shabby, deserving release somewhere [sorry but it’s true] classier than a WP “blog.” I published them in the blog anyway. Shit for brains.
Once published, and two days old, out of range of “reader” round-up software inquiries, those pieces simply gather dust. They deserve better.
So do wandering [or bored] readers. If you’re in a mood for a serious read, explore this index offering links to past mistakes and a few pieces never blogged, showcased for a phantom audience. Whether (blog) posts or (sw) refugees from my site pulldown “Writing” you should close the windows they open to avoid wandering-off looking at before or after posts not at all related.
I will update from time to time. Drop by again.
Noir
Detective, cop, hardcase, average Joe, and even something on the shady side.
Heartbeat This spy guy is over the hill not for his age but for another reason. He’ll explain.
Soft humor but certainly spy-noir
(sw) 1100 wds 8:30 min
Help a Guy Out A holdup that didn’t hold up to expectations.
(blog) 750 wds ~5:45 min
Two Martinis Just closed a deal, so I was celebrating.
(blog) 500 wds ~4:00 min
Old Men Barbecue. Politics. Important old men. Someone has to protect them.
NSFW: Language
(sw) 1200 wds ~10:00 Min
Worry A farmer worries too much. Because? Just because. Adult. Violent Flash Fiction.
Blog 2/7/2022
500 words 4:00 read time.
The doctor’s office
In and around dealing with medico types, surgery, extractions, billing, and out-of-network.
Corrected Vision An accident damaged my eyes. Surgery was necessary.
Humor NSFW
(sw) 1000 words ~8:00 min
Dentist’s office They called to make sure I didn’t forget my appointment…
Humor NSFW
(sw) ~1200 wds ~10:00 min
Doctor’s Visit The grumpy old man visits the doctor. They chat. No. Really. This is almost word for word.
Humor
(blog) 2100 wds ~18:00 min
Conversations
Flash, shorts, and vignettes written sparsely narrated. Who better to tell a story than the characters there?
Revisions to the Master Plan Can I borrow your rototiller? I mean if you’re not using it? No, that’s incidental. It’s about planning your day…
(Blog 3/22/22)
<500 words
4:00 read time
Horse Show Rapid read, conversational piece. She wanted to attend a “horse show.” I was against it. Discovered a new way to argue my case without coming across as negative. Humor
(sw) 327 words
2:30 read time
Cigar Store Flashy in conversational format. Once in a while I like to indulge. A nice glass of something, say maybe a good cigar… Humor, sarcasm
(sw) 360 words
2:40 read time
Whiskers This one is a mix of “Conversations” and “Vignette.” All-out humor and completely suitable for general audiences. (See, I can play nice.)
(blog) 11/6/2020
1000 wds 7:45 min
Security Retired, I took a job working security in a department store. My first day on the job went along smashingly until…
NSFW: language and innuendo and probably not PC
(sw) 1200 wds 9:00 min
Community Service Telephone conversations “recorded” from a brief stint as a “help line” operator. Wonder why they haven’t asked me back?
Humor, slightly risque, and but of course, language -Mooded 4/28/2020
(blog 10/23/20)
1670 wds 12:00 min
Animal Control Wild animals do their best to interfere with gardening. Presently giving me fits are the {expletive} rabbits. Animal Control could be my salvation.
Humor, NSFW: language and animal violence
(sw) 575 wds
~4:30 min
Immigration Ulysses finally makes it home, only to have to deal with immigration.
Humor, lightly NSFW
(blog) 775 wds ~6:00 min
Milestones and Vignettes
Narratives examining characters in detail or unplotted anecdotal fiction.
Wardlow and Spencer Constable Pilcher, a Royal Mounted tells of two hapless chaps he apparently deals with routinely.
Humor. Could be in “Noir” save that it’s really just a vignette.
(blog 8/10/2020) 1000 wds ~8:00 min
Crazy Wolf Somewhere out west lives a Native American who, completely out of character had himself a bit of fun.
Humor
(sw) 1800 wds ~15:00 min
Olga, Svetlana, and the Handsome Russian Lieutenant Someone gets their comeuppance.
NSFW: language and innuendo
(sw) 3000 wds ~22:00 min
Puppet Man A vignette in (6-part) serial form. Recounting a Deputy Sheriff’s “ordinary” day, those he works with, and one unusual citizen.
Humor and social consciousness
(blog) Nov 2021
6 episodes totaling ~32:00 min
Poemetry
Once in a while I pretend I can write poetry.
Weeds Flowers or weeds? Cultivated or abhorred? At the end, spiritual?
198 words
The Old Man Lyrics, actually, in the manner of “Coward of the County” or “The Gambler.” Meant for some clever music master to put to a guitar-thumping. No takers yet.
300 words
Waxing Poetic About Love Spoof that went serious. Humor, philosophy, and doggone near real poemetry
(sw) 16 short verses How fast do you read?
Grab Me a Beer Lyrics, actually, should be a country song but it’s tough to noodle a tune to it’s rhythm. Humor and a bit of a twist in the closing verse
(sw) how long is a jukebox piece? 2-3 minutes?
Numbers Numbers, numbers, numbers, and a change in lifestyle
(blog 5 minutes, maybe
Better Pills Robert Service-ian humor
(sw) 474 wds ~2:45 min
Madama Gosich and Bunglers Grimaldi
Regard these as unsuitably off-color at times. Always a huge fan of Rocky and Bullwinkles’ “Fractured Fairy Tales” and an admirer of the Brothers’ Grimm and Scandinavian folklore, pieces here are of that genre. Sort of. Kinda.
Big Bad Got A Bum Rap The real story about Big Bad Wolfe and a couple other stories you probably heard wrong. A surprising similarity to many recent events. Oft ribald humor
(blog)
1788 words
~ 15:00 min
Mother Goose on Drugs A ribald spoof of opening verses and opening lines
(sw) Maybe 5 minutes, who can tell with poemetry?
Threadbare and the Three Princes A “Once Upon A Time” suggesting the OnceUpon community was a lot smaller that you imagine. Did you know the Sleepy Princess, Princess Lily White, and Princess Dustbin lived in the same community at the same time?
Humor and parody. Maybe a little ribald.
(blog/sw) 2000 wds ~17:00 min
Suitable and Intended for Children
Excuse me if I don’t get all excited about restoring these for public consumption. If any stories make it back, it’s because I ran out of things to do. Like that’s gonna happen.
Nicole and the Goat Who Read Books Learning to read is difficult. Consider getting some help
The same in italian
Nicole e la Capra Che Legge i Libri
(sw 6.28.20)
2300 wds
~17:00 min
2300 Parole 17 minuti
Setting the Record Straight Tsk, tsk, tsk. Don’t sugarcoat for the kiddies. Tell them the truth. Best read this one to them, you know, to explain as you go. “The Lion and the Mouse”
The same, in Italian “Il Leone e il Topo”
(blog) 750 wds ~6:00 min
750 parole, 6 minuti
Flash
Not politely fitting into any “genre” like Noir, Conversations, Vignettes, or such these are brief pieces, as you would expect of “Flash.”
Faint Heart (blogged 5/1/2022 “At Any Cost”) A man of steel. Unheralded hero. Has he any weakness?
(blog) 100 words
0:45 read time
Lights, Camera, Action lighthearted spoof of the movie industry with multiple odd characters. Might appeal to you too, if you’re looking for a little romance, a little foolin’ around.
Humor, lightly NSFW
(sw,blog 3/10/2021) 1000 wds ~8:00 min
Sci-Fi and Speculative Fiction
Space walks, aliens, intelligent microbes, future societies, that kind of junk.
Pond Scum With Feathers Flash piece – space pilot trapped in a harness on his last legs capitalizes on resident creatures’ regularity
(blog) 5/1/22)
195 wds
1:30 min
First Aid Station Flash piece but better-defined as science-fiction. Suitable for general audiences though the idea may make some, um, maybe a little queasy.
(blog 10/7/21)
543 wds
4:05 min
In-flight Repair Spacewalk of the worst order. Flashy science fiction. General audiences.
(Blog 5/2/2021)
540 Wds
4:00 min
Episodic
Claxbury Corners Twenty interwoven vignettes span a little more than two decades in the life and lives of residents of a rural Midwestern town. An unnamed narrator, also an active participant, guides us through the years, occasionally with humor, now and again with insight, and of course as occurs in every life, with moments of sadness.
(Blogs 2021-2022)
Novella in 20 episodes. Varying read time. Total read time 3 1/2 hours.
Ramblings 