“You’re late.”
“I know that. Sorry.”
“Not like you.”
“I texted. Check your phone.”
“Dang. You did. At eight thirty-five you said: Running late. Be there nine twenty.”
“What time is it?”
“Nine twenty-one.”
“There you go.”
“Still Late.”
“Not much.”
“If I say eight o’clock, I mean eight o’clock, not eight-twenty.”
“Nit-picking.”
“Principle.”
“One minute is not principle. It’s nit-picking.”
“What happened?”
“Wardrobe malfunction.”
“Spilled coffee?”
“Not me.”
“Oh.”
“Just opened the car door and she says – ‘Oh, shoot! My shoes don’t go with my socks.’”
“So?”
“Back into the house to change shoes. Not right. Changed socks. Then shoes again.”
“Hardly accounts for twenty minutes.”
“Got the socks and shoes horror straightened-out. Suddenly, her slacks didn’t coordinate.”
“I see.”
“I didn’t, but that’s irrelevant. No other slacks just-so, so socks and shoes changed again.”
“Then you were good to go?”
“No. Blouse wasn’t right.”
“Changed that, then?”
“Well, duh!”
“She sorted it out and here you are.”
“Nope. In the car she discovered her purse didn’t go with anything. I joked: ‘So now you have to change purses?’”
“She said?”
“Gave me that You’re an idiot! look. Swatted me on the arm as if it was my fault and said, ‘Of course!’ Took another five minutes to find a matching purse. She brought it to the car and migrated cosmetics and such while I drove.”
“Certainly has this thing about coordinating stuff.”
“It’s debilitating sometimes. An Obsession.”
“Can’t be all that bad.”
“Tell you what. Next time you see her. Look real close. I’ll bet you her damned chewing gum color coordinates with her socks, shoes, slacks, blouse, earrings, and necklace.”
“Really?”
“Yup and worse.”
“Can’t be any worse.”
“Oh, it can!”
“Nah.”
“Yup. Everything doesn’t coordinate with today’s bra and panties, it’s back to square one.”
© spwilcenski 2022
exposed by spwilcenwrites “Wardrobe Malfunction – August 4, 2022”
Ramblings 